Caregivers are family members, friends, neighbors, and others who provide unpaid help to someone who is aging, ill, living with a disability, or experiencing memory loss. Caregiving may involve occasional errands and telephone calls or daily assistance with medications, meals, transportation, personal care, finances, and medical appointments.

Many people do not think of themselves as caregivers. They simply believe they are doing what a spouse, adult child, relative, or friend should do. Recognizing the caregiving role is important because information, training, respite, and support are available.

Start With Moore County

The Moore County Family Caregiver Support Program is the primary local resource for unpaid caregivers.

The program can:

• Evaluate caregiver needs
• Provide information and referrals
• Connect families with community resources
• Offer caregiver education, counseling, and support
• Help eligible families explore respite care
• Provide information for dementia caregivers
• Support grandparents age 55 and older who are raising grandchildren

The program also offers a free caregiver support group and an on-site lending library with materials about caregiving, Alzheimer’s disease and dementia, grief, health and wellness, and grandparents raising grandchildren.

For assistance, call the Moore County Family Caregiver Advisor at 910-947-4186. You do not need to wait until a crisis to ask for help.

Understanding the Caregiver Role

Caregivers frequently perform several roles at once. A caregiver may be a companion, driver, scheduler, advocate, housekeeper, medication organizer, financial helper, and emergency contact.

Begin by identifying:

• What the person can still do independently
• What help is currently needed
• Which tasks require professional assistance
• What the caregiver can realistically provide
• Who can assist when the primary caregiver is unavailable
• What may need to change if the person’s condition worsens

Whenever possible, include the person receiving care in decisions. Respect personal preferences and encourage continued independence in activities that can be performed safely.

The National Institute on Aging’s caregiving resources offer guidance for people beginning or adjusting to a caregiving role.

What Is Respite Care?

Respite care provides temporary relief from caregiving responsibilities. It may be provided for a few hours, a day, overnight, or for a longer period, depending on the program and the family’s needs.

Respite may be provided:

• In the care recipient’s home
• In an adult day program
• In a residential or healthcare setting
• By a relative, friend, trained aide, or professional care provider

Respite is not an admission of failure. Regular breaks can allow caregivers to attend appointments, rest, exercise, spend time with other family members, or simply step away from daily responsibilities.

Ask the Moore County Family Caregiver Support Program about eligibility, availability, cost, and local respite options. The North Carolina Lifespan Respite Program may also provide limited, application-based assistance when funding is available. A local professional organization must make the referral.

Learn more from the National Institute on Aging’s guide, What Is Respite Care?.

Education and Support Groups

Caregiver education can help families understand a diagnosis, communicate with healthcare professionals, manage changing behaviors, improve home safety, and prepare for future needs.

Support groups provide an opportunity to speak with others who understand the experience. A group may help a caregiver:

• Feel less isolated
• Exchange practical ideas
• Learn about community resources
• Discuss difficult emotions without judgment
• Prepare for changes in the care recipient’s needs

Moore County offers a free support group for caregivers registered with its Family Caregiver Support Program. Call 910-947-4186 to ask about registration and the current meeting schedule.

Recognize Caregiver Burnout

Caregiving can be meaningful, but continuous responsibility can affect physical and emotional health. Warning signs may include:

• Feeling exhausted even after resting
• Frequent irritability, anger, guilt, or hopelessness
• Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
• Losing interest in friends or usual activities
• Missing personal medical appointments
• Changes in appetite or weight
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Increasing use of alcohol, medications, or other substances
• Feeling unable to continue safely

Do not ignore these signs. Speak with a healthcare professional and contact the Moore County Family Caregiver Support Program. If there is an immediate threat of harm to the caregiver or care recipient, call 911.

The National Institute on Aging offers additional self-care guidance for caregivers.

Share the Responsibility

One person should not automatically be expected to handle every caregiving task. Family members and friends may be willing to help but may not know what is needed.

Create a written list of specific tasks, such as:

• Preparing or delivering a meal
• Providing transportation
• Picking up prescriptions
• Making telephone calls
• Staying with the person for two hours
• Handling yard work or household repairs
• Attending a medical appointment
• Researching a service or benefit
• Managing a shared calendar

When possible, hold a family meeting and assign responsibilities according to each person’s location, schedule, skills, and relationship with the person receiving care. Revisit the plan as needs change.

How to Ask for Help

A specific request is often easier to answer than “Can you help sometime?”

Try saying:

• “Could you stay with Dad Tuesday from 2 to 4 p.m. while I attend an appointment?”
• “Would you bring dinner on the first Thursday of each month?”
• “Could you call the insurance company and find out whether this service is covered?”
• “Can you be the backup contact if I cannot be reached?”
• “I am becoming overwhelmed and need help making a care plan.”

If relatives or friends cannot provide hands-on care, ask whether they can contribute in another way, such as arranging services, managing paperwork, paying for occasional respite, or making regular social calls.

Caring From a Distance

Long-distance caregivers can still play a meaningful role. They may:

• Schedule appointments and transportation
• Manage bills, insurance matters, or online accounts with proper authorization
• Research local services
• Order groceries and household supplies
• Maintain regular telephone or video contact
• Coordinate communication among family members
• Visit periodically to assess changing needs
• Develop a list of trusted local contacts

Keep important names, telephone numbers, medications, healthcare providers, and emergency plans in a secure location accessible to the appropriate people.

See the National Institute on Aging’s long-distance caregiving guidance.

Balance Caregiving, Work and Personal Health

Caregivers need healthcare, rest, relationships, and time away from caregiving. When possible:

• Keep your own medical and dental appointments.
• Tell your healthcare provider that you are a caregiver.
• Eat regularly, remain active, and protect your sleep.
• Schedule breaks before reaching exhaustion.
• Stay connected with friends and activities you enjoy.
• Ask an employer about flexible scheduling, remote work, or applicable leave policies.
• Keep a backup plan for workdays, illness, and emergencies.
• Accept help without feeling obligated to repay every favor immediately.

Taking care of yourself supports your ability to provide safe and compassionate care.

Resources for Dementia Caregivers

Dementia caregiving can involve memory loss, changing judgment, wandering, sleep disruption, communication difficulties, and changes in behavior. Caregivers may need specialized education and respite.

Resources include:

• The Alzheimer’s Association caregiver resources
• The Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 Helpline at 800-272-3900
• North Carolina Project C.A.R.E., which provides dementia-specific caregiver consultation, education, referrals, and possible respite assistance subject to eligibility and funding
• The Moore County Family Caregiver Support Program at 910-947-4186

Seek professional guidance if a person with memory loss begins wandering, driving unsafely, leaving appliances on, becoming aggressive, mismanaging medication, or experiencing another significant change in behavior or safety.

You Do Not Have to Do This Alone

Asking for assistance is a responsible part of caregiving. Contact the Moore County Family Caregiver Support Program at 910-947-4186 to discuss your situation, identify resources, and learn about current education, support-group, and respite opportunities.